Ever hit one of those times in your life when so much has happened, that you don't even know where to begin?

Primarily, I spent the entire month of October in the hospital. That Irish event, with the sheep that pressed into my leg? It turned into a rare condition (1 in 100,000) called Pyoderma Gangrenosum which ate the entire front and sides of my leg. I'm healing now, and amazingly well. However, it's hard, some days, to remember to look at how far I've come, rather than how far I have to go. It's hard not to look at the little side issues that complicate the matter ... there are so many, the latest being a very sore bedsore in a very sore spot that I'm seriously hoping will just heal without complications.

No one knows why it happened. None of the "usual suspects" as in underlying causes are present. It just happened. After it finally had started to reverse, when my hero Dr Resnick recognized, at last, the syndrome and got me on the right treatment, the docs confessed that they were days away from having to toss amputation into the basket of possible treatments.

Some days I feel up and positive and thankful that it's healing so well, and that the gooey spots are getting smaller and the solid scar tissue is filling in.

Some days it's hard not to just cry.

Today seems to be a "cry" day, and I'm fighting it and trying to get my brain wrapped around the positive again.

I don't really want to talk too much about it ... you can see the whole ugly mess here:

Pyoderma Gangrenosum Blog:

[link]

Be warned, though, if you have a weak stomach, some of the pictures are not very pretty. It gets a lot less pretty when I think about the fact that I'm looking at my own leg....

I'm really, really glad to be home. I love my family so much, and I missed them so deeply and painfully that month away from them. Sometimes I feel like maybe they liked it better when I was there, though, rather than here. I feel like I'm somewhat of a burden. I can't wait till I'm allowed to walk on the leg again, and can get back to some semblance of a normal life.

I think that might be a while.... It would be a really nice Christmas present. I need to give the doctor a call tomorrow anyway, just as a check-in. Maybe we'll talk about that.

It's scary, though. No one knows why it happen, and when I ask, no one can promise me that it won't happen again. I don't ever, ever want to go through this again.

Well, anyway. I'm just revisiting old haunts today, catching things up a little bit; it's DeviantArt's turn.

Hope everyone out there is well, and I wish you all a Happy Holiday Season.